Home » LOVE YOUR GUY, CAN’T STAND HIS STYLE? HERE’S HOW TO MAKE HIM DRESS BETTER

LOVE YOUR GUY, CAN’T STAND HIS STYLE? HERE’S HOW TO MAKE HIM DRESS BETTER

LOVE YOUR GUY, CAN’T STAND HIS STYLE? HERE’S HOW TO MAKE HIM DRESS BETTER

RECREATE OUR OUTFITS

Black Knee-high boots
Black Pea Coat
Knitted Skirt
Women’s Cardigan
Men’s Trainers
Men’s Cardigan
Men’s White T-shirt
Trousers
Bag
Black Knee-high boots
Black Pea Coat
Knitted Skirt
Women’s Cardigan
Men’s Trainers
Men’s Cardigan
Men’s White T-shirt
Trousers
Bag

Do you want your guy to take more interest in his personal style? Here’s how to ignite that fire! If you’ve noticed that your partner’s wardrobe could do with a lift,  I asked Michael (my husband, in case you don’t know) who loves a stylish item or two, to help you inspire positive change in his style without conflict or direct criticism. The only way this change can happen is if your partner actually gets onboard. 

So from here Michael is taking over, and we can’t wait to hear your thoughts! 

It is always easy to see the man whose wife or girlfriend has dressed him. His body language is unassured and awkward and he isn’t owning his look. The clothes are in fact, wearing him. 

The point I am making is, just getting the clothes you want on your man’s back doesn’t dramatically make him any more stylish. The biggest part of personal style is developing a feeling of ownership and subsequently confidence in the way you look. That confidence in ownership is where the swagger comes from! Don’t take away that ownership as it will have the opposite effect to what you are aiming for.

So, if you want your guy to look more stylish, you have to find a way to help him develop interest and confidence in his style choices. You’ve got to help him understand what he likes and help him grow the self-belief to experiment and try new things, to find a style that he feels truly represents him. Your voice will most likely still be influential, but it shouldn’t dominate. Give him space.

The main challenge for many middle-aged men

Many, but not all middle-aged men have been brought up in a socio-cultural landscape of toxic masculinity, where fashion and style are often deemed to be a feminine domain. As wrong as this is, if this is your man you will want to start finding a way to rewire that perception. How can you do that?

For all of the ideas below, the key is to not rush the process. Nobody likes feeling like they are being forced into things! For optimal learning and deep understanding to take place, we all need to be enabled to arrive at our own conclusions. Your role is to influence by asking questions and making observations. If you do it well enough your partner may even start to adopt some of your opinions and ideas as their own.

Talk about the style choices of men they admire:

Whether it be a sportsperson, musician, actor, public figure or just someone you know, this is a place to start because these are people they rate in some way and whose choices and decisions they believe in. [By the way Eleanor, I just want to point out that I know when you do this to me!] Start very gently. Keep it casual. Don’t turn it into an interrogation. You’re just sewing the seed of thought.

Remember, the aim here isn’t instant transformation. It’s to help him see that masculinity and style can coexist. That he is allowed to hold opinions on, and take an interest in style. Once the penny drops, you’re out of first gear and rolling!

Suggested questions or statements

  • I like those trousers he’s wearing. 
  • Would you wear something like that? (One of Eleanor’s favourites – usually followed by how much she thinks it would suit me!)
  • What are your thoughts on that T-shirt? Or to begin with… Do your prefer A or B? Why?
  • What are your thoughts on that colour? Or again… Do you prefer the green or the blue? Why?
  • That would look good on you.

“Masculinity and style can coexist.”

Educate on Style Fundamentals

Many men may feel overwhelmed by fashion because they lack basic knowledge. Offering simple tips and guidelines can make them feel more comfortable expressing opinions on, or even experimenting with, different looks and styles. You need to provide practical information on style fundamentals, such as colour coordination, fit, and dressing for the occasion. I have provided some subject areas at the bottom of this post. 

Remember, delivery of these topics need to be consistent for learning to take place. At any given time have 2-3 focal points, such as colour coordination, fit and occasion suitability, and try to deliver educational information on the same 2-3 points in slightly different ways.

Statements

These are more a series of compliments. That way you are growing his style confidence while he is passively learning.

  • That would really emphasise your broad shoulders because…
  • That colour really brings out your eyes. 
  • You look good in that colour.
  • That would be a good look for client meetings because…
  • That would look amazing with your new jeans because…
  • That would emphasise your arms/height.

Evaluate other men’s style choices

As the gender behind mansplaining, it is no secret that we love giving our unsolicited opinions! Tap into that! It is far less intrusive to receive style education when you are not the focal point and you don’t even know it is happening. Discuss other men’s style choices to get them thinking about the basics such as colour combinations and fit. If you guide the conversation in the right direction, we will provide you with some strong opinions. That will give you a lot of insight into what he might be receptive to and what he really doesn’t like. As always, don’t forget to play on a man’s ego!

Questions and statements

  • I like that!
  • What did you think of his outfit?
  • That would look better on you.
  • How do you think that outfit works for that guy’s body type?
  • What do you think of those shoes with those jeans?

 

Celebrate Individuality

Typically, men in our culture don’t like to stand out too much from our peers, so opt for safe choices by mimicking those around them. Men often need to be gradually encouraged to explore their own tastes, preferences, and comfort levels, to begin finding a form of self-expression. This is a journey and won’t just happen overnight for most. It might start with a slightly different fit in a familiar colour or a slightly bolder colour in a familiar fit. Gradual change is the key here. 

Questions and statements

  • That’s similar to your blue T-shirt. That would look good on you.
  • That would be a nice look for down the pub.
  • [Hold up an item in the shop.] You should try this/these on. This/they would suit you.
  • Compliment them when they do look at something bolder online or in a shop. ‘Yeah! I really like that!’

Force marketing on him

This is really sneaky, but I know from personal experience that whatever online store Eleanor is looking at, there is a huge likelihood that I will see an advert for it in my Instagram feed. An example of this was last night, I was looking for some new front tyres for the car. Less than a minute later the garage I was looking at appeared on Eleanor’s Instagram feed, much to her irritation!

If you know where you’d like your man to shop, spend some time on their website and social media channels, while you’re sitting next to him on the sofa. Get him used to seeing them and their styles.

Do this to him for a day or two and then simply ask him, ‘Have you heard of [brand name]?’. This is your chance to show him a couple of items that you’ve seen that ‘might look good’ on him. If he has seen the styles a couple of times already, he is far more likely to feel comfortable and familiar with it.

Please remember, there are no guarantees he will like what you are showing him. It’s a good way to find out though.

Create safe spaces for exploration

As a middle-aged man that grew up in England, I know only too well, that you can never feel safe from a little of what we affectionately refer to as ‘banter’. Derogatory comments from those nearest and dearest to you. There is no intended malice in these comments. It’s actually a ‘display of affection!’ Nevertheless, over time this ‘banter’ creates a self-limiting environment. An invisible boundary you stay within to self-preserve. A series of things you are reluctant to do. 

If you want to get your man to open up and try new things, you have to resist the urge to poke fun at them. Agreed, they will find it funny in the moment but those invisible walls will go straight up. Practise paying sincere compliments and suggest solutions and ideas when they don’t quite hit the mark. For many, this will feel unnatural within the natural dynamic of your relationship, but if you’re asking your partner to step out of their comfort zone, you need to too!

You are cultivating a safe space where your partner is prepared to engage in conversation around style. Ultimately, you are aiming for a place where he starts the conversation and is exploring new style choices of his own accord. 

Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day! I will leave you with with a few technical areas you could explore together.

FOCAL POINTS FOR YOUR MAN’S STYLE EDUCATION

If you’re looking for focal points for the education you are planning on imparting, here are a few ideas. As a former teacher, I like to refer to these as learning objectives.

Color Palette Exploration

Encourage him to explore different color palettes that complement his skin tone and personal preferences. Understanding the impact of colors on his overall look can enhance his confidence in choosing outfits.

Body Shape Awareness

Help him understand his body shape and the types of clothing that flatter his frame. This awareness can guide him in selecting clothes that highlight his strengths and minimise any areas he might be less comfortable with.

Fit and Tailoring

Explore the importance of proper fit and tailoring. Learning about how clothes should fit well can make a significant difference in the overall appearance of an outfit and enhance comfort.

Style Icons and Inspirations

Encourage him to discover style icons and sources of inspiration. This could involve looking at celebrities, influencers, or even fictional characters whose styles resonate with him, providing a basis for creating his own unique look.

Accessories and Details

Introduce him to the world of accessories and details. Exploring the impact of items like watches, belts, scarves, or even subtle details in clothing can add a personal touch to his style.

RECREATE OUR OUTFITS

Black Knee-high boots
Black Pea Coat
Knitted Skirt
Women’s Cardigan
Men’s Trainers
Men’s Cardigan
Men’s White T-shirt
Trousers
Bag
Black Knee-high boots
Black Pea Coat
Knitted Skirt
Women’s Cardigan
Men’s Trainers
Men’s Cardigan
Men’s White T-shirt
Trousers
Bag

Mixing Patterns and Textures

Guide him in experimenting with patterns and textures. Understanding how to mix and match different patterns and textures can elevate his style and add visual interest to his outfits.

Casual vs. Formal Styles

Explore the distinction between casual and formal styles. Discussing when and how to incorporate different styles into various occasions can help him navigate diverse social settings.

Grooming and Personal Care

Emphasize the importance of grooming and personal care. Good hygiene and a well-maintained appearance contribute significantly to overall style and self-confidence.

Seasonal Wardrobe Transitions

Discuss transitioning the wardrobe with the changing seasons. Understanding how to adapt his style to different weather conditions and occasions ensures he’s well-prepared for any situation.

Fashion Trends Awareness

Encourage him to stay aware of current fashion trends. While not necessary to follow every trend, having a general awareness can help him make informed choices and keep his style current.

Let us know if you found this helpful!

Eleanor and Michael 

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